


Showers and interviews

by soft_bucky



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cuddles, Depression, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Fluff, Harry comforting Louis, Insecure Louis, Interviews, M/M, One Shot, Rude comment, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 12:45:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_bucky/pseuds/soft_bucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis isn’t exactly the happiest person in the world and he doesn’t know how to deal with those feelings. So he decides to push them away and try to ignore them. Food does a great job at doing that for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Showers and interviews

As Louis stepped out of the shower that morning, he avoided looking in the mirror altogether for another morning like he has the last three months. He kept his eyes off his slowly expanding midsection and soft body. He absolutely hated what he saw in the mirror like he has for the last six months; yet isn’t doing anything to fix it. In fact, he’s doing the complete opposite.

  
He walks into the bedroom in the house that he shared with Harry and shut the door; knowing that the curly haired lad would be downstairs probably making breakfast, which was just another weak point for Louis, yet he didn’t stop himself from eating it. Even though he wishes he would.

  
Lately the stress and self-hatred and everything kept piling up and up on his shoulders until he just felt depressed and empty. So he started using food to fill the emptiness. And it’s begun to show on his body. Of course only he truly knows that, but it’s seen on a very small extent. He hasn’t allowed Harry to put his arms around his waist or see him without clothes on in three months. Harry was confused as to why, but he always wants to make Louis happy so he goes along with it.

Louis drops the towel to the floor and looks through the wardrobe to pull out a loose sweater and a pair of recently bought jeans that weren’t form fitting and tight as not to show off any part of his body. He pulls on a pair of socks and pads downstairs to meet his boyfriend in the kitchen before the band chores they had to do throughout the day.

  
“Morning Lou.” Harry greets happily and pecks Louis on the cheek.

  
“Hi Harry.” Louis manages to put on a smile for him.

  
His boyfriend comes over and sets down a full plate of breakfast in front of the Doncaster lad before taking a seat across from him and eating his own breakfast. Louis knows that his body needs nourishment to equip with the day; especially when you’re a pop star, but he feels disgusted and satisfied at the same time as the food makes its way down his throat.

  
“Thanks Haz.” Louis says appreciatively as he sets his fork on the white, cleaned off plate.

  
“No problem. The boys said the car’ll be here any minute so you should put shoes on. And I have to fix your hair. Hold up.” Harry stands from his seat and runs his hands through his boyfriend’s hair until he deems it suitable. “Okay.”

  
Louis goes into the hallway and picks out a pair of tan suede oxfords. Just then a horn honks from outside and Harry quickly slides on his pair of white chucks, his coat, and him and Louis leave the house together. In the sunlight, Harry looks like some sort of god and all Louis can feel is more self-conscious next to his gorgeous boyfriend. He knows that he shouldn’t be feeling this way, but he can’t really do anything about it. He just ate and doesn’t have any food on him to replace the bad feelings, so he settles on pulling a piece of gum from his pocket and chewing it as the car pulls along to their first obligation of the day.

  
~o~

  
At the last thing of the day; which was an interview, things went well. Then some unknown person in the audience shouted out “I have a question! Why isn’t anyone doing anything about Louis’ weight gain? It’s one thing to have a little Tommo tummy and another to have a Tommo belly!”

  
Tears pricked Louis’ eyes and he shoved himself off the couch and threw his collar mic on the floor; despite the interview still being televised. He stormed out of the building as fast as he could and managed to get away from anyone chasing after him. He hailed a taxi and rode home with tears streaming down his face. The girl was right. They’re always right.

  
As soon as he locked the door to his and Harry’s shared flat behind him, he shed all his clothes and pulled the scale down from the hall closet. He placed it onto the cold tile floor in the bathroom and stepped on. The three red numbers flashed before his eyes.

  
 _170\. He just found out he weighed 170 pounds. That was fifty more than what he started out as three months ago when all of this started._

  
Out of pure anger, he kicked the scale across the floor and it hit the wall with such force that it formed a fissure down the middle of the black glass surface. The man pulled on a pair of boxers and a jumper and went to the kitchen and ate a massive slice of chocolate cake that Harry made, which was delicious. As every bite passed down his esophagus, he felt guilty and sated. It pushed away the emptiness, sadness, hatred of practically everything including himself which made him feel only slightly better at the moment.  
Then he went upstairs and curled into a ball under the covers and cried. He just continued crying until he felt a shift in the mattress signaling that Harry was here. He knew of Louis’ rules so he lied down next to him and put his arms around the smaller boy’s shoulders.

  
“Lou, it’s alright. I’m here.” He murmurs soothingly.

  
“It’s not alright Harry. Nothing is alright.” He whispers.

  
“That girl was completely wrong. You know that’s not true.”

  
“But it is. I’m fucking one hundred seventy pounds. That’s like thirty away from two hundred. I mean yeah I’m not like huge, but I’m fat. I’m fucking ugly and pudgy and disgusting. It’s not like people haven’t noticed by now.”

  
“Don’t talk badly about yourself Lou.” Harry says simply yet firmly.

  
“How can I not? I don’t even know why you’re still with me.” “I can’t handle things. Everything’s turned into shit and depression and like self-loathing. I’ve gained weight, and it’s just a vicious cycle that can’t be broken.” He confesses.

  
“I’m with you because you’re beautiful to me. I don’t care if you weighed 800 pounds. I’d still love you all the same. I’m with you ‘cause I love you and it’s that simple.” Now Harry understands why Louis hasn’t been naked in front of his boyfriend for a bit and won’t let him touch his waist or stomach or thighs or bum.

  
“I’ll do whatever it takes to show you that I love you, always have, and always will.” Harry says gently. He kisses his boyfriend (who’s mouth tasted faintly of chocolate and has finally stopped crying) and pulls away and snuggles closer.

  
“Can I…?” He trails off, barely brushing his fingers along Louis’ sides. After a moment of consideration and a bite of his lower lip, Louis nods his head and Harry puts his arms around the older man’s waist and holds him close.

  
When things are all calm again, Harry whispers “You still feel as beautiful and curvy as usual Lou. And I still love you.”

  
“I love you too Harry.” Then the pair fall asleep shortly after. Louis is still insecure, upset, and depressed, but he knows that he has Harry who loves him unconditionally though it all.


End file.
